The point to this idea was that to know God, we have to study his work. As the theory goes, you can know him best by studying say, molecular biology or jazz saxophone. I was reminded of this on this trip. It was something about the logic, order, beauty, chaos, fine scale, grand scale. Around ever corner was more evidence of a creator, an intelligent driving force. Everything seemed right.

It brought back that huge love filling my heart for something that I have yet to find a better word for than God.

And it made me love ME too, for the first time in a long time. I felt physically powerful, self-possessed, mentally and emotionally powerful. Invincible!

I came home ready to conquer the world. Or maybe just to laugh at it. I felt light, physically, spiritually, in every way. (I was surprised to find I'd only lost 2 pounds. I'm sure I turned a lot to muscle, too.)

And there was the answering machine full of messages: three with job offers, all wanting me. Whether they panned out didn't really matter; I was on top of the world.

One of them came to pass, a week of shooting a catalog in California. Two days later, on a plane headed west, I was still on top of the world.